Fatty Bombatty
by Mr. Miagi's Banana Factory
Summary: Squall gains a whole 1/2 a pound and now has to go seek council from the great and powerful Irvine.


#Mr. Miagi's Banana Factory owns nothing.

*Squall's bathroom*

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Squall: That shower was nice, especially after that big party last night. *gets on scale* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

*In Cafeteria*

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Zell: *hears scream* Was that… Squall? *sees food cart* HOT DOGS!!!!

*half an hour later, Zell goes to Squalls dorm*

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Zell: Hey, Squall, I heard you screaming dude. What happened?… Are you crying?

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Squall: Something sniff terrible has whimper happened.

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Zell: Crap! Ultimecia came back from the dead?!

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Squall: No! I gained… ½ a pound!!!

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Zell: Eegad! That's horrid! Now that you mention it, I can sorta make out some pudge lines..

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Squall: *bawls*

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Zell: Oh c'mon Squall! This is so not like you! You're supposed to be Mr. "I only have two lines in the whole RPG." You're not supposed to go crying like this!

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Squall: BUT IT'S A WHOLE ½ A POUND!!!

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Zell: Well, as you know, there is only one person who can help us.

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Squall: *nods* The great… Irvine!

*at Irvine's dorm*

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Squall: Irvine, I need your wise council.

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Irvine: Don't tell me what happened for I already know! You gained a whole ½ a pound, isn't that right.

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Zell: *gasp* But how did you know?

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Irvine: You are talking to the great and powerful Irvine! I know all that was, is, and will be.

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Squall: Tell me, oh great Irvine, how can I lose this dreaded ½ a pound?

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Irvine: There is only one thing you can do, considering your case is quite rare. As you should know, it is impossible for any RPG character to gain any weight at all. It is quite rare that any video game character can. In order to vanquish this dreaded ½ a pound, you must seek out the help of the wise fitness trainer Seifer. Only he can help you with your struggle. Once the ½ a pound is gone, come back and see me. Oh, and when you come back, could you bring a few Playboy Magazines with ya?

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Squall: I will do all that you have commanded oh great Irvine. Thank you for imparting your wisdom with us.

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Zell: Ya, thanks a bunch.

*Zell and Squall find Seifer fishing at Balamb docks*

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Squall: Um, Mr. Seifer, I need your help. You see, I gained this ½ a pound and I need to study under your tutelage so that I may get rid of it. 

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Seifer: I'm sorry, sonny, but those days are over for me. All I do now is fish at this here dock.

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Squall: But please, sir, you need to help me! I've been sent by the great and powerful Irvine to have you help me.

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Seifer: The great and powerful Irvine, huh? He's one of the wisest womanizers in the land! If he has sent you to me, then he must know that I can still make something of myself!

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Squall: So you'll help me?

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Seifer: If that is what the great and powerful Irvine wants.

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Zell: Oh! Can I help in the training? Please?!

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Seifer: You can be the water boy.

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Zell: YAY!!

*half hour later at Balamb's fitness center*

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Seifer: C'mon! Run on that treadmill as if Selphie was chasing you!

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Squall: But I'm pant so tired!

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Seifer: Don't give me that! I can right now see that jelly belly getting larger! Kill that thing! DESTROY IT!!

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Squall: YES SIR!!!

*one hour later*

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Seifer: Whack that punching bag! Pretend it's Zell!

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Zell: HEY!!!

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Seifer: Oh, I forgot that you were standing there.

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Squall: Can I take a break yet?!!

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Seifer: NO!!

*three hours later*

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Squall: Finally, today's over!

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Seifer: Squall, I have done everything for you that I can do. Now go to the scale. If the ½ pound is gone then you will have done me proud.

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Squall: Thank you for everything.

*at Squalls dorm*

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Zell: You know, you could get on… any time now.

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Squall; But… what if it's not gone?

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Zell: Oh come on! Are you really the same guy that beat Adel and Ultimecia?

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Squall: You're right. gulp I'll do it. *stands on scale*

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Zell; SQUALL!!!

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Squall: I LOST 2 POUNDS!!!

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Zell: I'm so proud of you!!

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Squall: I'm proud of me too!

*at Irvine's dorm*

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Irvine: So you lost the ½ a pound. Good work angels… I mean, Squall. Now then, id you bring those magazines I wanted.

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Squall: Here they are sir. *hands Irvine naughty magazines*

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Irvine: *looks through* Oh Miss Summers, you're lookin quite feisty. Rrroouw! *notices Squall and Zell are still standing there* Um… you guys ma now go and celebrate this great event.

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Zell and Squall: Yes sir!

*Zell and Squall then went to the cafeteria to eat like pigs* 


End file.
